Thieves of Joy
by Nicole VanZuidam ~ Junction Therapy
As you read this, Christmas day has likely passed, but the family parties, and hopefully the joy and celebration of the season continue. Although we can all imagine what the Hallmark version of this looks like, there are many variations of Christmas tradition that make it special for each person or family. When the question is posed about what Christmas is about, we can likely rattle off some common answers such as faith, Jesus, family, gifts, love, traditions, to name a few. These are all things that have potential to bring an abundance of joy and meaning. Unfortunately, finding joy at Christmas can also be a complex experience as many of the same things that bring joy can be the cause of stress and pain, diluting our joyfulness.
In last week’s article, Melanie wrote about the gift of presence to others. Part of being present is self awareness as well as consideration for others. In doing so, we can put forth efforts to encourage ourselves and those around us to be on guard against the potential thieves of joy.
The first thief is expectation. We come to expect Christmas time to hold certain traditions or gestures from others. Traditions are a wonderful part of societal and familial culture that bring meaning and nostalgia to experiences. But, whenever we choose not to communicate the hopes or expectations we hold for events or interactions with others, we risk experiencing disappointment. Something that might be less obvious is the importance of also sharing with those close to us the expectations we hold for ourselves or where we are setting the bar. By not sharing, we are at risk of feeling misunderstood. Communicating this about ourselves is important in order for those we love to better understand us along with the motivation behind the how and why of the way we do things. This would also provide an opportunity to reground on what is important or necessary. When you are finding yourself frustrated by the actions or efforts of others, or heavy with pressure to get things accomplished, that is a good cue to consider how realistic your expectations are, why you have them, and how much of that you have communicated.
Grief is another thief. Christmas commonly being a time of family meals and parties highlights the feeling of loneliness for those without family or missing loved ones. It can be an unwelcome reminder of the loss or feeling forgotten.
Other thieves could be financial stress, family dynamics, heightened seasonal depression or anxiety, changes in tradition, and of course the stealer of all joy, comparison. The real Thief, the one who comes to steal, kill, and destroy uses the exact things that are meant to bring us joy in this season of celebration and spins them into a negative perspective. This accomplishes his purpose of taking our focus away from the True joy and celebration of the season.
In casual conversation with others, I commonly heard that it seemed more difficult this year to transition into the Christmas spirit. It is not too late to enjoy the hope and joy of the season. Take time to refocus on the reason you celebrate and the importance of your traditions. Identify what is meaningful to you about Christmas and how you celebrate or acknowledge that. Share that with others. Even if things are different this year, can you find a way to adapt your tradition or celebration so it continues to hold true to the meaning for you? Knowing that others likely have their own complex experiences this season, encourage others along the way!
