The Opposite of What We Need
You walk into the house after a long day. Your growling stomach serves as a reminder that you only managed to get in a few bites of your lunch before surrendering to the tasks at hand. Your mind feels like a bowl of mush after navigating the day and your muscles are so tight it feels one touch would cause them to snap. You haphazardly drop your things down at the door, grab a bag of chips and fire up the tv or sink into the chair and scroll. When your phone vibrates with a call from one of your good friends, your finger quickly finds the silence button. You get caught up in the mind-numbing diversion in front of you and before you know it, it's an hour past your bedtime. You decide to forego the regular nighttime routine, crawl into bed and hope for a better day tomorrow.
Somehow, we convinced ourselves that the unhealthy choices made were what we needed, but do you believe the events of that evening are setting your mind and body up for having a better day tomorrow? Our human instinct seems to be doing the opposite of what we are likely in need of. If we don't take time to nourish ourselves throughout the day, our bodies shift into “low fuel mode.” When this happens, our metabolism slows down, our body will burn muscle for reserve, and it reduces non-essential functions such as hair growth, and our stress hormones spike. We can feel tired, cold, or lightheaded. If we decide to fuel with junk food, we can experience a sugar crash, irritability, brain fog, and more cravings. When we choose to do this on a regular basis, our body starts to feel the effects of being low in nutrients- weakened immune system, fatigue, inflammation, wounds healing more slowly, imbalance of the microbiome in our gut, all of which has an impact on our mood.
When our mood is imbalanced and we feel down or irritable, it can be common for us to isolate ourselves. Possibly in our unconscious mind, we armor ourselves with a cantankerous state, warding off any attempt of gentle care or concern. When approached, we might fire back with short, cutting, argumentative answers or maybe not respond at all, which can all be interpreted as “leave me alone.” Just like the junk food we think will comfort us, we deceive ourselves into thinking we will be better off on our own. This is the opposite of our design. Of course it is reasonable to take some time to yourself in productive ways- to calm down, reflect, gather your thoughts, blow off steam in a healthy way like exercise, and regulate yourself. But we can recognize, the longer we spend time with ourselves in our negative thoughts, the darker those thoughts become. If we are feeling overwhelmed or spiraling with negative or unrealistic thoughts, sharing those with someone can help us ground back to reality.
I encourage you to spend time reflecting on your routine when you experience a less than ideal day. Are there things you might be doing that encourage a negative mindset or have a negative impact on your body and mood? What are the things you do to care for yourself? How do you communicate how you are feeling and what your needs are? If your mind is racing and your muscles are tight, a walk or some stretching could be a good reset. Instead of jumping onto social media, maybe you sit down with a book, read a devotion or spend time in another faith practice, take some time to enjoy a hobby, or listen to music. Just as our body needs to be prepped well in order to have a good day, our emotions and sense of connection needs tending to as well. Can you recognize any behavior that is sending “leave me alone” messages instead of communicating your needs and asking for support? Step into a moment of vulnerability and ask a spouse, friend, or family member how they might see you isolating or pushing away at times. Identify phrases your loved ones can use that you will recognize to help pull you back into connection instead of isolation.
Our behavior and patterns develop over time and once developed, can be difficult to change and sometimes to even recognize. As our human tendency can be the opposite of what we need, it takes consistent work to care for ourselves. If you are needing a safe space to take a step towards reflection and change, Junction Therapy is a meeting place of acceptance, discovery, and hope as you journey.
